23/07/2015, 20:05 - : Hi...

24/07/2015, 22:06 - : Either I have sent message to wrong person or...

I sent this to her on WhatsApp three to four days after visiting her place. I had received positive response from them about the marriage proposal. In fact I was littler surprised with that. Because feedbacks received about the meet from my parents were not so good.

On morning of 19^th July 15, I got up at around 5:45. My father and mother, both had already reached Mumbai, since our visit to see a girl was planned that day. Technically speaking I should have given sufficient time to think on this event but I did nothing; directly I wore shirt and jeans which as per my knowledge were  decent ones; with a bag on my back I reached Mulund which was my Aunt’s place. As per planned time and place, we reached girls place at Sanpada. The first impression about house I would say; it was better than expected. We were introduced to the family and other relatives present there. The discussions happened about family, jobs and especial one was, my probable posting to Zambia. Even the girl was also looking very good in blue saree and make up. Actually I was surprised when I saw the girl because there was huge difference I felt in what I saw just now and pictures I saw on her FB account. So by and large all went good. Actually these are among the embarrassing things to face in a life; something that I would never like to do again. Meet ended with conclusion of communicating final response within two days.

Next day I got call from home, and my mother started shouting on me about cloths I was wearing yesterday; color was not ok, there were not washed properly and all. So what I sensed out of that, the proposal is likely to be get rejected by them. Next day also there was no communication from them. But it’s always something you don’t guess because we had received yes from them next day. Rather I would say it was not my credit at all; whole credits goes to the label which I was carrying i.e. an employee of a TATA company. Even before also when my pictures were sent without informing me, were not less than horrible. Immediately question which got popped up in mind was: what next?? I had seen many of her pictures. I was not ok with them and reality it was something else. My parent liked the girl very much so they assumed my answer and said yes to them. Then I thought of putting message to her on WhatsApp. I sent message to her on 23^rd July 15. But she didn’t reply which was bit of surprise to me. Because as per my understanding, Mumbai girls are not like this. Next day evening as per routine I called my home. And I was told that she wants have one to one discussion with me. In fact this should have been initiated from me. So same evening i.e. on 24^th I sent one more message; this time there was reply.

This is how messaging started and we planned to meet on Tuesday since it was my weekly off. There were only two things she used to do; working in home like cooking, etc. and second was office. These two things would consume 23hrs of day. And rest one hour was for travelling. And at both places taking my calls were prohibited. WhatsApp was also available only at home. With whatever time available, sharing of each other details, questions-answers happened. Basically this discussion started to have face to face interaction with each other but many of the question answers were already covered in phone calls and chatting. Actually here we are not to understand each other; rather it’s about spending whole life with each other. Due to different weekly offs, we were not able to fix the meet. Finally on 1^st Aug, the day came. It was Sunday and she was having off. I had planned a meeting with EWAC L&T for some outage related work. So internally I convinced my colleague to finish
the discussion with vendor in 1^st half so I will be free in 2^nd half of the day. Simultaneously I informed the same to her and asked her come to Vashi at around 3 o clock. We reached Taloje at vendors shop. I was with thought that I will be free by lunch time but till 2’o clock, I could not move. I messaged her about delay. At 3’o clock I got free, which I informed her and asked to come to kharghar so that we will have more time to spend together. And when I reached kharghar with thought that she would reach in while. But she was still getting ready at home. So I said lets meet at Vashi. Then I reached Vashi   and still she had not left home. Actually I was ok with her behavior because eventually she is a girl. She reached at around 4:30 and she had already made me wait for 20 mins. Meanwhile I messaged her for not come in saree. She was wearing yellow dress (??). Since my previous experience about my own dressing was terrible; with little research on the subject, I concluded that I should wear shirt which has white color in it which creates good formal impression. So I bought new one which I was wearing that day. As expected there was normal hindrance intalk. She suggested to go to mini sea face; actually I pretended that I am not aware of the place. We had good discussion there. Fortunately everything remained formal; detailing about the family and all.

On 5^th August her father went to see my native. He went to many places- my home, our temple, my uncle’s place, etc. After whole discussion, I was given some feedback which was on negative side. He tried to be bit dominant on discussion, some illogical demands on gold etc. It could have been because of the difference in lifestyle of both families or…. I don’t know. Most of the demands were rejected by us. Still they agreed on it.

Parallel to all this, chatting and calls were going on in whatever little time was available to her; I mean I was available for full time: p. Basically I was trying to understand her nature. One thing was very clear that she was not Mumbai type girl; which I could not properly analyze. One of the reason could be her mother’s health because she spent a lot of time on taking care mother and family. Many time I used to put some indirect line, normally there were only plain replies; either she wasn’t understanding it or not interested in answering them. Day by day, there was little attachment had definitely happened. When her father had visited my native, I told her that things are not going on positive side. And there I could sense her feelings. She was upset with it. One of the thing I would never forget was her funny English (I know I am also ok ok language section).
 

After multiple cycles of discussion, things were very much on positive side. Our first visit to her home, our meet at Vashi, her father’s visit to my native place; all went well with few exceptions. My parents finalized marriage hall, date of marriage. Ultimately one more visit was arranged for final pre marriage discussion. Accordingly we asked few selected members to be present for discussion. In between, through chats and phone call, this was being discussed. I sensed some mismatch between opinions of two families about the meet. So I asked my father to get in touch with them. Actually they wanted clarity on some issues which they wanted to discuss with me. Finally meeting planned at Mulund on 23^rd August. Since actual agenda got diverted, some of the attendees were curtailed. We were ready at 10:30 in morning as decided. Other party reached at around 11:45. Their major concern was about my probable posting to Zambia. They got feedback about Zambia that it is highly HIV infected country. And sending their girl at such place was not comfortable for them. Further they asked for two more days for final discussion and then said they would agree if I refuse to go to Zambia.

I left my aunt’s place on that evening with mixed feelings. I sensed that it’s almost over now. One thought was lingering in my mind that was about her. Few days back, she was upset on this topic after her father visiting my home and now it was almost finished. I sent message twice but there was no reply. I hope she was ok.

 

...27.08.2015